As most married couples, our marriage started out as two people coming together with totally different backgrounds. I was from a free flowing home, messy, but comforting. My childhood home was clean, but we usually had pillows thrown off the couch and toys lying around. My husband came from a tidy home, everything had its place, and the order of the home was a comfort. You didn’t dare mess up the floor rug, and he had to dust his room every Saturday before he could play. This caused some interesting conflicts that are still spilling over into our marriage today.
I leave dried toothpaste in the sink, and my shoes are in a big pile in the closet; I hang my bras on the bathroom doorknob. I stuff the garbage sack so full of junk, that it is almost impossible to get it out of the garbage can. My husband, on the other hand, has his whole life organized and in sync with his IPhone and Mac Book. His bathroom counter has all of his medicines, hair products, and shaving tools all in their proper order. His shoes are neatly placed on a shoe rack, and his office library is organized and grouped by various topics. In this aspect of our lives, we are like night and day and we have been spending the past eight years of our marriage trying to find a balance between our differences to make a comfortable home for our children, and ourselves. I found peace in a home that looked like it had been lived in; he found peace in a home that seemed spotless.
It is so funny to look back on the things we did to ourselves to try to make the other happy. I would wear myself out trying to keep our home the way his mother kept hers, and he would try so hard to not let the toys strewn all over the place and dirty dishes in the sink get to him. Neither one of us could relax in the environment we created. Our different upbringings were causing us to experience arguments, issues, and stress that should have never occurred. To him, I was a mess, to me, he was too uptight. Somehow, through communication, prayer, and understanding, we tore down the walls that defined peace and order in the home through our different childhood upbringings, and we found peace and order in each other.
Throughout the course of our union, we have rubbed off on each other. He leaves his shoes and empty cups lying around the house, which makes me smile because it leaves me reminders of him in our home. Our closets and drawers are organized, well, except for my shoes, and I keep our home in order, which allows him to relax after coming home from work. My husband still cringes when I leave toothpaste in the sink, and I still roll my eyes at the way he insists on having his lotion facing sideways. But, through all of this, we made a home together. Our home is defined by our love, our commitment to each other and to the Lord, and by the individual traits we have put into it to make it work. We have created our own environment in which our marriage and family can thrive. Our children are being raised in a Godly home where we all influence each other through love to create a warm, inviting home full of laughter, love, peace, and order.